An Open Letter to my Ex- Boyfriend (round1)

I’m writing this in stages because just like our relationship, there is stages to grieving in what I once lost.

First off, Thank you of ending that gosh darn relationship. I mean, at the time I wasn’t thankful for you or that side piece you had but it made me realize A LOT about me and you. As for you, I realized that you were nothing like I thought. But I did realize you were much stronger than me. While you were a cheater and an avid liar, you had the strength to throw in the towel. I will say that I learned what I did not want in a man. I realized that you had the qualities of man that I am not looking for. So thank you for showing me who you really are. Thank you for having the strength to leave me an hour before I final exam(that I failed) and showing me what I did not want in a man. As for me, thank you for showing me who I am. I had lost myself in the relationship. I had been so consumed with making you happy I forgot that sometimes I should come first. I now know that I can’t let my happiness depend on someone because I have depend on myself first. If you hadn't left me, then I would have never realized how much better I can be.

Thank you for helping me realize what amazing friends I had. Never in my life had I ever considered how blessed I was with such supportive and caring friends. Given half of these friend were YOUR brothers but they stepped up and helped me in every step of the way. My sisters were there the second my life cam crashing down. Both groups of friends are still here for me and have my back. I blew them off for you. And even after doing that, they still were there for me when you weren’t. I’m so thankful that I now realize and cherish my friends in a whole new way.

Thank you for giving me freedom that I didn’t want, but needed. I now take everyday one step at a time. I cherish the little things. I live on the edge and take risk. I no longer have the need to plan my week around you and your needs. Just the other day I order tickets to a concert, something I would have freaked out about if I was with you. Without you holding me down I now can do what I want. If I want to drive to a Royals game on a Saturday,I can. I no longer need your permission to do things in life. I am free.

Lastly, thank you for putting me into the worst and weirdest depression of my life. This sounds absolutely terrible to say but just give me a second. After you broke up with me I went into a deep dark hole and I’ve stayed there and I’m honestly still there but I have worked my ass off to get out of this hole. I have cried, drank, ran, and screamed until the break of dawn but you know what? I’m improving, I’m becoming stronger. I’ve seen how thick skinned I really am. I never realized how strong I was. Yes, I struggle daily with what you did to me but I am unstoppable and I intend to come out of this hole one day, happier than ever. One day I’ll write my final post about you and never look back…Cause gosh darn I deserve much better than you, a liar.